If you’ve ever tried talking yourself down from an intrusive thought or anxiety spiral, you know how frustrating it can be.

“Don’t worry, everything’s fine.”

“You’re safe.”

“This thought doesn’t mean anything.”

Sound familiar? That’s the kind of self-talk most people default to, and while it feels comforting in the moment, it’s actually making OCD and anxiety worse.

Let’s break down why your current self-talk isn’t working, how it secretly feeds the OCD cycle, and what to say instead if you want real recovery.

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The Problem With Reassuring Self-Talk

Here’s the truth: when you tell yourself things like “I’m safe” or “I’d never do that,” you’re not recovering, you’re reassuring.

Reassurance is one of the most common compulsions in OCD. It doesn’t matter if you get it from a friend, from Google, or from yourself, it all feeds the same cycle.

Every time you reassure, your brain learns: “This thought must matter, or else why would we spend so much energy on it?”

👉 Translation: your brain doesn’t get quieter with reassurance. It gets louder.

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How This Cancels Out Your Progress

You might be doing ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention). You might even feel like you’re making progress. But if you’re still talking yourself down with reassurance, you’re accidentally undoing the work.

That’s why so many people feel like they’re “doing ERP right” but staying stuck. The exposure might be solid, but the mental compulsions (like self-reassuring) sneak in and cancel it out.

👉 Want a full breakdown of how this cycle works? Watch my OCD & Anxiety Cycle Masterclass. It’ll change how you see every thought and compulsion.

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HWhat to Say Instead

So if “you’re fine” isn’t cutting it, what should you say instead?

The secret is this: effective self-talk doesn’t solve the thought. Instead, it shuts down the conversation.

Here are a few examples:

• “Maybe, maybe not.”
• “That’s just OCD noise.”
• “Uncertainty is the goal.”
• “Not today, OCD.”
• “I don’t need to figure this out right now.”

Notice the difference? These lines don’t give reassurance. They don’t promise safety or certainty. They just cut off the rumination loop and keep you moving forward.

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⚠️ Guardrails: Don’t Turn Scripts Into Rituals

Even good tools can backfire if you use them compulsively.

• Don’t repeat scripts like a magic spell hoping anxiety disappears.
• Don’t swap one reassurance phrase for another “recovery” phrase.
• Don’t measure success by how calm you feel afterward.

👉 The goal isn’t to feel certain. Instead, it’s to practice living with uncertainty without spiraling.

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Grounding Tools to Back It Up

Sometimes words aren’t enough—you need a visual anchor to reinforce them.

That’s why I created the Break Free Shop. Affirmation decks, stickers, and air fresheners designed specifically for OCD and anxiety recovery—not décor, but defense.

Place them on your desk, your mirror, or in your car so the right words are staring you in the face when OCD tries to drag you down.

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Want 10 Recovery Scripts That Actually Work?

If you’re tired of spinning your wheels with self-talk that doesn’t help, I put together a free resource for you: 10 Scripts for OCD & Anxiety.

Inside, you’ll get powerful, therapist-approved phrases for:

• Intrusive thoughts that won’t go away
• Anxiety spirals that keep building
• Rumination loops that feel impossible to stop

👉 Click here to grab the 10 Scripts for OCD & Anxiety.

Because you don’t need another pep talk—you need the exact words that shut OCD down.