Let’s be real for a second.

So many of you have done the therapy, white-knuckled through ERP, downloaded the apps, maybe even journaled until your hand cramped.

And still, you’re stuck. Exhausted. Wondering, “What the hell am I missing?”

If that’s you, you’re not broken. You’re not doing it wrong. You’ve just fallen into the sneakiest OCD/anxiety recovery trap out there. And nobody talks about it enough.

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The Trap: Chasing Certainty

Here’s how it shows up:

• You pause before hitting send on an email because you can’t stand the thought of one typo.
• You hover by your kid’s door at night, needing “just one more” check they’re breathing okay.
• You run through your exposure in your head, whispering to yourself, “Did I do it right? Am I sure?”

Every single one of those moments has the same culprit: the craving to be sure.

That craving is the glue that holds the OCD/anxiety cycle together.

If you’re new to this and not quite sure yet how the OCD/anxiety cycle all work together, check out this $37 masterclass: The OCD and Anxiety Cycle: A No BS Masterclass on Overcoming Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts. You’ll go deep, cut the filter, and get strategies that work.

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Why Certainty Keeps You Stuck

Here’s the hard truth: every time you try to solve the thought, soothe the fear, or get to 100% certainty, your brain learns the opposite of what you want it to.

It learns:

“This fear must matter. Otherwise, why would we spend so much time on it?”

And then, like a gossip who just found a new juicy rumor, your brain brings it up again. Louder. Stickier. More frequent.

That’s why you feel like you’re running in circles. Because you are.

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What To Do Instead

Here’s the shift: recovery isn’t about finding certainty. It’s about learning to live without it.

Try this next time you catch yourself in the trap:

1. Pause and Notice.

Call it out: “This is the certainty trap.” Naming it helps you step back.

2. Swap the Script.

Instead of “I need to know,” say: “I can’t know, and that’s okay.”

3. Practice Tolerance.

Sit with that doubt for 30 seconds. No fixing, no Googling, no checking. Just let it be there while you keep living your life.

It’s uncomfortable, yes. But it’s also how your brain finally learns: I can handle this without solving it.

And this takes time. Check out my blog here on why healing isn’t linear and how to keep going when it feels like you keep going back to square one.

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Quick Warning: Don’t Let This Turn Into Another Compulsion

If you catch yourself repeating the same mantra over and over or spending hours “testing” whether you can handle uncertainty, you’re back in the loop.

The key is doing it messy. Imperfect. Once. And then moving on with your day.

I know this can sound really tricky. So much easier said than done. That’s why I made this masterclass called Hold The Line, where I teach you my signature HANDLE It framework. Perfect for when your brain just won’t shut up, so you can take your power back.

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You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

I wish someone had told me this when I was clawing my way out of the cycle. That it wasn’t about crushing every intrusive thought or finding the “right” coping skill.

It was about breaking the certainty trap.

And that’s exactly what we’re doing together on September 4th in my live event:

Still Stuck – Why Traditional Therapy and ERP Haven’t Been Enough (And What to Do Instead).

If you’ve been doing everything right and still feel stuck, this is your turning point.

Click here to sign up for the September 4th event. The price goes up after September 4th, and when you sign up before August 22nd, you get a free, bonus video from my signature course, The OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint.

Because you don’t need to add more to your plate. You need to stop doing the things that keep you trapped.