There are days when just getting out of bed feels like a win. When your brain is spinning, your body is tired, and the demands of parenting feel like too much. I’ve been there—not just as a therapist, but as a mom who knows what it’s like to show up for her child while running on empty.

Parenting overwhelm is real. This isn’t just being tired. It’s not simply having a rough day. It’s when your nervous system is stuck in overdrive and your usual coping tools feel out of reach. You love your kids, but the mental load is crushing.

But first, hi! I’m Jenna—mom, LPC, and someone who’s felt the weight of parenting overwhelm firsthand. I created practical tools and resources (like my podcast, OCD and anxiety course, and other resources) to help overwhelmed parents find calm, clarity, and confidence—even on the hardest days.

If you’ve ever wondered what does it mean to be overwhelmed as a parent, you’re in the right place. Let’s talk about what’s really going on, how to spot the signs, and how you can still show up for your kids—even when you’re struggling yourself.

Why Parenting Feels Harder When You’re Overwhelmed

When you’re overwhelmed, everything feels urgent. Every cry, every mess, every sibling squabble hits your system like an alarm. You might notice that you’re snapping more easily, shutting down faster, or feeling emotionally detached.

And here’s the thing, none of that means you’re a bad parent.

It means your brain is doing exactly what it’s wired to do under stress: survive. When the brain senses a threat (even if the threat is just a loud tantrum or a pile of dishes), it shifts into fight, flight, or freeze. That’s why parenting feels harder when you’re overwhelmed—your brain thinks you’re in danger.

Add in sleep deprivation, work stress, or anxiety (especially OCD-related anxiety), and that load becomes even heavier.

If you’ve ever found yourself emotionally activated by your child (or even afraid of your reactions to them), I go into this more in my blog OCD and Parenting: When Your Child Becomes a Trigger. You’re not alone—and there’s help.

Signs You’re in Survival Mode

Sometimes we don’t even realize how overwhelmed we are until we stop and name it. So let’s do that.

Here are some signs you might be in parenting survival mode:

• You’re snapping at small things that didn’t used to bother you.
• You feel disconnected or numb (like you’re just going through the motions).
• You can’t make decisions—even simple ones like what to cook.
• You’re constantly tired but can’t seem to rest.
• You feel like you’re failing, no matter how much you do.

Being an overwhelmed parent doesn’t always look like crying on the kitchen floor (though that happens too). Sometimes, it’s silent. It’s invisible. And it builds up over time.

How to Show Up for Your Kids Even When You’re Struggling

Let me say this clearly: you can be struggling and still be a good parent. You can feel overwhelmed and still show up.

The key is to shift your mindset around what “showing up” really means.

It doesn’t mean having it all together. Sometimes, it’s simply being present, even if that presence is imperfect. Or offering a hug, even if your voice is shaky. Or being willing to repair, even if you lost your temper earlier.

Sometimes, showing up looks like sitting quietly next to your child while they play. Sometimes it looks like taking a break and letting them watch a show so you can breathe. That counts.

And if you’re trying to break cycles and show up differently than how you were parented, you might feel extra pressure. I talk more about this in Break the Cycle: How to Parent Through Anxiety Without Passing It Down. It’s for every parent who wants to raise emotionally healthy kids while healing themselves, too.

Ways to Regulate Your Own Emotions Before Responding to Your Kids

When you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to react. But regulation always starts with us.

Here’s what I tell myself (and my clients) when I feel that heat rise in my chest:

1. Pause – Take a beat. Even two seconds of stillness gives your brain space to respond instead of react.
2. Ground your body – Feel your feet. Wiggle your toes. Grip onto something. These sensory tricks help anchor your nervous system.
3. Label what’s happening – Say it out loud if you need to: “I feel overwhelmed right now.” Naming it takes some of the power away.
4. Breathe with intention – One deep inhale through the nose, long exhale through the mouth. Repeat. It’s simple but powerful.

Your child’s nervous system responds to yours. When you regulate yourself first, you set the stage for them to regulate too. (Even if it doesn’t happen right away, and yes—even if it’s messy.)

For more tools on co-regulation, check out my blog How to Regulate Your Emotions So You Can Help Your Child Regulate Theirs. It’s full of strategies that actually work in real life.

Practical Strategies for Managing Overwhelm

Let’s get into what you can actually do when the overwhelm feels like too much.

Here are a few strategies that help me (and my clients) when parenting feels impossible:

• Lower the bar – Seriously. Ask yourself: What actually has to get done today? Not everything needs to be done now.
• Create a “calm corner” for yourself – Even if it’s just the bathroom or a closet, have a space you can escape to for 2-3 minutes to reset.
• Build micro-moments of care – A hot cup of coffee, standing in the sun, texting a friend. These little things build resilience over time.
• Use post-it notes with positive affirmation reminders – “My child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one.” Stick it where you’ll see it.
• Practice saying no without guilt – You are allowed to protect your time, your peace, and your bandwidth. (Yes, even from extended family.)
• Ask for help – From your partner, a neighbor, a friend. You don’t get extra points for doing it alone.

And if you’re balancing work and parenting (with anxiety or OCD on top of it), don’t miss Managing Anxiety and OCD as a Working Parent. You’ll find tips that actually fit into your real life—not just an ideal one.

Trust Me—You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Parenting with overwhelm is hard—but you’re not failing. You’re navigating something incredibly difficult while still showing up. That’s strength.

If you need a tangible way to ground yourself in that strength, check out my Break Free merch—created for moments just like this. The Break Free Affirmation Deck, soothing air fresheners, stickers, and cozy sweatshirts are all reminders that you’re not alone in this journey. Find what speaks to you at my shop.

And if you ever just need someone to say the hard stuff out loud with you, come hang with me on my podcast All The Hard Things. We talk about parenting, anxiety, OCD, and how to make space for hope in the chaos.

You’re doing enough. You are enough. And it’s okay to need support along the way.