Welcome back, friends! This podcast episode is going to be a little bit different than my typical episodes because I am actually going to be taking and answering questions from my Instagram community. I get a FAQ’s about OCD recovery and taboo thoughts, and I figured it was time to just compile a lot of those different questions and answer them here for you guys.

Here’s a little preview of what we’ll cover:

• If I stop answering OCD’s questions, will OCD go away?
• Does emotion regulation help with thoughts?
• Is it possible to fully recover?
• How does ERP work with sensory motor OCD?
• What are good strategies for when you feel guilt over having taboo thoughts?
• How to stop constantly having to prove to yourself that “it’s not me”
• Managing automatic groin sensations and not fixating on it
• Using compulsions to feel better about it
• How to navigate OCD flare-ups when weaning down from an SSRI

I won’t be able to go as in-depth as I normally do on an episode because I’m covering so much ground. If you need more regarding any of these things, I want to let you know that literally every single one of these questions is addressed in full in my OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint.

If I stop answering OCD’s questions, will OCD go away?

I wish it was that simple. I don’t like the concept or the term or the anticipation of wanting these things to go away because I think it’s just such an underestimation of the human brain. Humans in general have intrusive thoughts. Humans in general have anxiety. We tend to have doubts or uncertainties or things that cause us anxiety and concern. That is not the problem. The discomfort and the feeling and the experience of discomfort, that is just life. That is life happening, and that is never going to go away.

What is the problem is the continued and repetitive and over-focus on it being a problem. The discomfort in and of itself is not the problem. The problem is the disordered relationship that you have with that discomfort: the wanting the thoughts to go away, the struggle, the analyzing.

I like to think of OCD and anxiety much like a telemarketer.

I don’t know that you can get rid of telemarketers completely. Like, I have Robo-caller, I have a couple of different things, but still there are always a couple that end up getting through, and I always, every once in a while, get a telemarketer call. It does seem to be at really awful times—during dinner or when I’m in a meeting or trying to film a podcast or whatever the thing is. I am okay with that. I understand that is just part of life.

Now, if I were constantly picking up these telemarketer phone calls and I was answering them and I was engaging in a lot of conversation with them—maybe asking them about their product or what it is that they’re trying to sell, or even if I picked up the phone and I yelled at them—that would be me giving the telemarketer who was calling me some really good information about my availability, about my openness for these kinds of conversations. And of course, they’re just going to call more. They’re going to call more frequently. They’re going to be a little bit more rambunctious and creative with their calling and trying to get me on the phone because they know that I’m available, even if I’m not pleasant when I’m answering the phone.

The thing is, in order to get the telemarketers to go away or at least to minimize them as much as possible, it is your responsibility to stop answering. You cannot reasonably expect a telemarketer to stop calling you as long as you continue to pick up the phone. You have to be responsible, and you have to make sure that you’re not picking up the phone.

I teach my students in the Blueprint how to identify the ways in which they are picking up the phone. I want you to ask yourself, how are you picking up the OCD phone call? How are you picking up anxiety’s phone call? You are responsible for making sure that you do everything that you can do to not be answering those phone calls.

Of course, my hope for you is that as you continue to not answer these phone calls as much, those phone calls (i.e., in this situation we’re talking about OCD and anxiety) will happen less frequently, be less vivid, and pull you in less. But you are responsible for cleaning up your side of the street first and foremost. We’re never going to get rid of them completely. We’re never going to get rid of discomfort. And we’re never going to get rid of scary thoughts or just weird spammy thoughts. But if you want to reduce them, you have to keep track and take care of your side of the street, and you do that by making sure that you’re not picking up the damn phone.

Does emotion regulation help with thoughts?

I’m going to be honest, I am not an expert when it comes to emotion regulation. When I think of, and when I hear emotion regulation, I think of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). I think of things like mindfulness or opposite action—both strategies and techniques taught within DBT. There are lots of other things discussed within DBT. For instance, if you’re in DBT or using strategies from DBT, you might be encouraged to use ice packs or dunk your head into cold water.

I do not like to teach my clients or students any of those strategies because, especially when it comes to ice packs and things that aren’t very portable, those coping skills, those emotion regulation strategies, aren’t portable. These are not things that you can use naked, alone, and in the desert. I like to equip people with things they can use anywhere, anytime—like in the middle of a grocery store line, in the shower, at a party—because that’s usually when anxiety is coming up. Anxiety isn’t usually coming up when you have access to an ice pack. So I like to shift the focus to more portable coping skills. That way, you remain in control.

Now, of course, emotion regulation is going to help you get through the high emotion that often comes with OCD recovery, such as resisting rituals, handling discomfort, and all of that. I think having some kind of baseline of being able to tolerate discomfort is necessary when doing this work because part of doing the OCD and anxiety recovery work is that you’re going to have to be uncomfortable. You’ll have to resist compulsions, change habits, and with that comes some level of discomfort. That’s just par for the course.

Will some emotion regulation be necessary for that? Absolutely. Emotion regulation strategies are necessary, but they are not sufficient for overcoming OCD and anxiety.

What are strategies for supporting a partner with OCD when they are reassurance-seeking?

The best thing a partner can do in this situation is to witness the ways in which they’re being used as a ritual. Giving reassurance or facilitating avoidance or safety behavior makes OCD stronger, like putting a log on their anxiety fire. It’s like giving an alcoholic a shot of whiskey. It might make you and them feel better temporarily, but it makes everything worse in the long run.

You have to step back and recognize that all the things you think are helpful are making things worse. Often, the most loving thing you can do is the hard thing. For example, with my son Eli, I had to encourage him to stay in his swimming lessons even when it was cold because it was important for his safety. He was uncomfortable, but it was necessary for his long-term goal of learning to swim.

As a partner, ask yourself: who am I doing these rituals for? Am I doing it for my partner or for myself? Participating in the OCD rituals is often driven by your own fear and discomfort. Do what is necessary for them in the long term, which is talking to them about reducing compulsions and getting the help they need to break the cycle.

Want to learn more about how to support without accommodating? Grab my masterclass here.

What if I want to recover from OCD but also need talk therapy?

I would ask, what makes you think you need talk therapy? Do you want it because it feels good to process everything, or did someone with a thorough understanding of OCD say you need it? I hate talk therapy. I think it is therapists doing the bare minimum. You all deserve more than that, regardless of other comorbid conditions. Therapists should come with structure and evidence-based strategies.

If you have OCD, I would caution against talk therapy. It can be unhelpful or even detrimental, leading to wasted money and time, and potentially engaging in rituals during sessions. For example, you might seek reassurance, verbally ruminate, or confess, which can become a big mess.

Instead of just processing feelings, therapy for OCD should include structured, evidence-based strategies to actually work on overcoming the disorder. Without knowing all the details, I would generally lean against talk therapy for OCD and anxiety. Focus on finding a therapist who provides concrete strategies and action plans rather than just holding space.

Is it possible to fully recover from OCD?

Heck yeah, but you have to check in with your expectations for recovery. People mistakenly think that recovery means never having anxiety or intrusive thoughts again. That’s not true. Having scary thoughts and anxiety is part of life.

Recovery means being able to live your life despite discomfort. It means not letting OCD and anxiety control you. It means these symptoms no longer cause distress, impairment, or take up an hour or more a day. If you reach that point, you could very well no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for OCD and anxiety. That’s badass.

When we talk about OCD, we’re referring to obsessions, compulsions, and disorder. We’re never going to get rid of obsessions completely; everyone has them. Even compulsions might not disappear entirely; people sometimes avoid things to reduce anxiety, which is a form of compulsion. But significant reduction is possible.

The key is getting to a point where these symptoms don’t cause distress. If you’re not impaired by these symptoms, you’re essentially recovered. It’s about managing your reaction to discomfort and not letting it dictate your life.

How does ERP work with sensory motor OCD?

The problem isn’t the swallowing, heart rate, or physiological sensation you’re worried about. The problem is paying attention to it and putting your life on hold until you figure out the problem.

In the OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint, I go into detail on conceptualizing attention as a ritual and what to do instead. Sensory motor OCD isn’t about the physical sensations themselves; it’s about the disordered attention you’re giving to them. You can continue to live your life with these sources of discomfort without answering the questions or solving the perceived problem. The problem is the belief that there’s a problem, which creates more attention and makes the problem seem real.

In the Blueprint, I take you through step-by-step how to create exposures and hammer out sneaky rituals for sensory motor OCD and other subtypes. You learn to live with the discomfort and shift your focus away from these sensations, gradually reducing their impact on your life. It’s about breaking the cycle of paying excessive attention to these sensations and reclaiming control over your focus and life.

What are good strategies for feeling guilt over having taboo thoughts?

One of my favorite strategies is asking yourself, what would you tell a younger person you care about if they were struggling with the same thing? For me, that’s my son Eli. When I’m struggling with guilt or taboo thoughts, I ask what I would want Eli to tell himself. This method helps you step outside of your own harsh self-criticism and treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would offer someone you love.

This journey is a long road, and it’s about updating your lifestyle and perception. Give yourself leniency and a break. When struggling with guilt over taboo thoughts, self-compassion is crucial. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer someone you care about. This strategy helps you build a foundation of self-compassion, which is essential for doing the harder work of addressing these thoughts and changing your relationship with them.

How to stop constantly proving that “it’s not me” when it comes to scary thoughts like Pedophilic OCD?

Proving to yourself that “it’s not me” can become a ritual. If it’s constant and provides temporary relief, it’s likely a ritual. Constantly reminding yourself or telling others that these thoughts aren’t reflective of who you are is a form of reassurance seeking, and it’s a ritual that keeps the cycle going.

You need to stop answering the phone call, as we discussed earlier. In this context, the phone call is the urge to prove to yourself that the thoughts don’t define you. This is a ritual that provides temporary relief but ultimately makes the problem worse. Resisting the urge to prove it’s not you will be difficult, but it’s necessary to break the cycle. It’s about learning to live with the uncertainty and discomfort without seeking reassurance.

How to manage automatic groin sensations and not fixate on them?

I do talk about this more in the Blueprint, I talk about these experiences and I go into detail about why you have them, how they come up in other situations and in other contexts, and what to do about it and the OCD sense and in the recovery sense when it comes to this groin response that people sometimes experience when it comes to sexual intrusive thoughts.

It also happens with victims of rape cases, where physiological sensations don’t match mental experiences. It’s your body being a body. When you have sexual intrusive thoughts and focus on whether you have a groin response, it increases attention and makes it more likely to happen.

Think of it like a teenage boy trying not to get a boner in math class or at grandma’s house. The more you try not to have the response, the more you think about it, and the more likely it is to happen. It’s a physiological response that doesn’t mean anything about your character or desires.

Own your compulsions and stop answering questions like “Why do I have that experience?” or Googling about it. Focus on breaking the ritual cycle. Recognize that this is just your body being human, and it doesn’t define you. In the OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint, I go into detail about why you have these experiences, how they come up in other contexts, and what to do about them. It’s about accepting these responses without trying to control or fix them and shifting your focus away from them.

How to navigate OCD flare-ups when weaning down from an SSRI?

Navigating OCD flare-ups when weaning down from an SSRI can be challenging, but it’s manageable with the right approach. First, it’s important to expect that flare-ups are likely to happen. Changing your brain chemistry by altering your medication can naturally lead to fluctuations in your mood and anxiety levels. This is normal and should be expected.

I always encourage my clients to allow themselves a period of about two weeks to go through these natural ebbs and flows without making any rash decisions about their medication. During this time, you might feel weird, fuzzy, down, or experience more intrusive thoughts. This is all part of the process. The difference between a lapse and a relapse is how you handle these missteps.

Instead of panicking or making immediate changes, give yourself time to adjust. Look at these fluctuations with curiosity and non-judgment. Learn from them and use them to strengthen your resilience. When you have a misstep, remember that it’s not the end of the world. It’s how you respond to it that matters. Don’t get down on yourself or assume that you’re not ready to come off the medication. These lapses are normal and to be anticipated.

During these two weeks, avoid making any sudden changes to your medication regimen without consulting your doctor.

After this adjustment period, if you’re still experiencing significant issues, then it might be time to re-evaluate with your healthcare provider. But give yourself that initial grace period to let your brain and body adjust.

Recognize that missteps are part of the recovery process. It’s not about never having a misstep; it’s about what you do after that misstep. Allow yourself to go through the natural ebbs and flows without immediately jumping to conclusions or making changes. This approach will help you navigate the process more smoothly and build your confidence in handling future flare-ups.

If you need more detailed guidance on this, the OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint covers these topics extensively, providing strategies and insights to help you manage medication changes and the associated challenges. It’s all about equipping yourself with the right tools and mindset to navigate these tough times and come out stronger on the other side.

That’s a wrap for today! But before you go, I want to leave you with a reminder: you are so much stronger than you know, and you have the power to overcome any obstacle that comes your way. After all, you’ve made it this far.

Keep doing all the hard things. Bye for now.

👏 Unlock your free 40-minute video on “5 Must-Know Strategies for Handling Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts”: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://jennaoverbaughlpc.com/strategies⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🧠 Start your transformation today with the Mental Compulsion Mini Course referenced in this episode: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://jennaoverbaughlpc.com/mental-compulsions⁠

💪 Ready to conquer OCD/anxiety? Explore The OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint – with or without a therapist: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://jennaoverbaughlpc.com/blueprint⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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