Firstly, OCD in teens is super common. If your teen is struggling with OCD, it can be hard to know what to say. You want to help, but you don’t want to make things worse. You don’t want to pressure them, but you also don’t want them to feel alone. It’s a tough balance.

The good news? Your support matters more than you realize. When teens feel understood—not judged or pressured—they’re more likely to open up and take steps toward managing their OCD.

So let’s talk about OCD in teens: what it looks like for teens, how to approach the conversation, and what you can do to support them daily.

UNDERSTANDING WHAT OCD FEELS LIKE FOR TEENS

OCD in teens can be overwhelming, confusing, and sometimes even embarrassing. Many teens don’t fully understand what they’re experiencing. They might feel trapped in their own minds, constantly battling intrusive thoughts or performing compulsions just to get temporary relief.

To them, OCD can feel like:

• Never-Ending Doubt: “What if I don’t actually love my parents?” “What if I cheated on my test and don’t remember?”
• Intense Fear of Consequences: Believing that if they don’t do something a certain way, something bad will happen.
• Guilt and Shame: Worrying that their thoughts mean something about who they are as a person.
• Exhaustion: Spending hours on compulsions, mental rituals, or avoiding situations that trigger anxiety.
• Frustration: Knowing their fears don’t make sense logically but still feeling like they can’t stop.

Teens with OCD don’t want to feel this way, but willpower alone isn’t enough to stop the cycle. That’s why the way you talk to them about their OCD matters.

DO’S AND DON’TS FOR TALKING ABOUT OCD

When dealing with OCD in teens, the words you use can make a big difference in how your teen responds. Here’s what helps—and what doesn’t.

Do:

• Validate their feelings – “I know this is really hard for you.”
• Stay curious instead of assuming – “Can you help me understand what’s going through your mind when that happens?”
• Acknowledge their struggle – “I can see how exhausting this must be.”
• Encourage self-compassion – “OCD is tricky, but it’s not your fault. You’re not choosing to feel this way.”
• Support small wins – “I noticed you resisted that compulsion earlier—that’s huge progress.”

Don’t:

• Say ‘Just stop thinking about it’ – If they could, they would.
• Dismiss their fears – Even if they seem irrational, the anxiety they feel is real.
• Give reassurance constantly – This can unintentionally feed OCD’s cycle.
• Force them to talk when they’re not ready – Let them open up at their own pace.
• Use guilt or shame – “You’re too old to be acting like this” or “Why can’t you just let it go?” only makes things worse.

Instead of trying to fix or minimize their OCD, focus on creating a safe space where they feel heard. That alone can reduce shame and help them feel less alone.

HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION

Bringing up OCD can feel tricky, especially if your teen avoids talking about it. Here are some ways to make it easier:

• Pick a Calm Moment: Don’t bring it up in the middle of an argument or meltdown.
• Keep it Open-Ended: “I’ve noticed you seem really stressed lately. Do you want to talk about it?”
• Use What They Care About: If OCD is affecting school, sports, or friendships, connect it to how it’s impacting their daily life.
• Share Something Relatable: If you have experience with anxiety or OCD (or even just intrusive thoughts), sharing a small example can make them feel less alone.
• Let Them Set The Pace: If they’re not ready to talk much, that’s okay. Keep the door open.

If they shut down completely, don’t force it. Instead, make it clear that you’re there when they’re ready. With OCD in teens, sometimes just knowing you’re available is enough to help them feel supported.

ENCOURAGING GROWTH AND PROGRESS WITHOUT PRESSURE

OCD in teens can make them feel powerless against their thoughts, but they have more control than they realize. The goal isn’t to eliminate intrusive thoughts (because that’s impossible), but to change how they respond to them. Small, intentional steps can make a big difference in managing OCD.

Here’s how they can start:

• Teach Them About OCD: Many teens don’t realize what they’re experiencing is OCD. OCD is grossly misdiagnosed. Learning how it works can help them feel more in control. My blog on OCD in kids is a great place to start.
• Challenging Compulsions Little by Little: They don’t have to stop everything all at once, but delaying a compulsion or resisting it for even a few minutes builds strength over time.
• Practicing Discomfort Tolerance: Sitting with uncertainty—even in small ways—teaches their brain that anxiety isn’t dangerous.
• Journaling or Tracking: Writing down their thoughts, triggers, and progress can help them see patterns and celebrate wins.
• Using Mindfulness and Self-Talk: Shifting their inner dialogue from “I have to do this” to “I can handle the discomfort” is powerful.

Support from family, friends, and self-help strategies can go a long way for OCD in teens. Therapy is one option, but it’s not the only one. Teens can take meaningful steps on their own to challenge OCD and regain confidence in themselves.

OCD IN TEENS: HELPING TEENS BREAK FREE

Talking to your teen about OCD can feel overwhelming, but the way you approach it can make a huge difference. When they feel supported, understood, and not judged, they’re more likely to open up and take steps toward managing their OCD.

It’s not about fixing or forcing change. It’s about helping them see their own strength, one step at a time.

I’M HERE TO HELP

If you’re looking for more guidance, I’ve got plenty of resources to help. My OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint is a step-by-step guide designed to help people take control of OCD. For deeper conversations on OCD and anxiety, tune into my podcast, All The Hard Things, where I share insights, strategies, and expert advice. You can also connect with me on Instagram for daily support, tips, and encouragement. And if your teen (or you!) need hands-on tools to challenge OCD, my Break Free Action Cards can help build resilience and confidence in facing fears.