Let me just start by saying this: mom guilt is a liar.

And not a subtle, whisper-in-your-ear kind of liar. I’m talking loud, convincing, and relentless—like that one friend who always sounds so sure of herself but constantly gives terrible advice. (You know the one.)

As a licensed therapist who specializes in OCD and anxiety—and also as a mom—I’ve had a front-row seat to how guilt worms its way into motherhood. I’ve sat across from countless women (and been that woman myself) who are doing their best, giving everything they have, and still feeling like it’s not enough. That feeling? That’s mom guilt talking.

Let’s break this down, because you deserve better than a life ruled by guilt.

Where Mom Guilt Comes From

Mom guilt doesn’t just show up one day out of nowhere. It’s learned, reinforced, and pushed hard by the world around us.

We’re told—both directly and indirectly—that being a “good mom” looks a certain way. Social media, parenting blogs, unsolicited advice from strangers in the grocery store… it all adds up. Suddenly, we feel like we have to do it all, love every second, and never lose our cool.

Add anxiety or OCD into the mix, and that pressure turns up even more. When you’re already managing intrusive thoughts, mental rituals, or constant self-doubt, the idea of “failing” your kids (even a little) feels unbearable.

(And let’s be honest—OCD is like mom guilt’s loudest hype person.)

The Lies Mom Guilt Tells You (And the Truth Instead)

Let’s call out a few of those common lies, because naming them is the first step to breaking their power.

Lie #1: “You’re a bad mom for needing time to yourself.”

Truth: You’re a human, not a machine. Time alone is not a luxury—it’s essential. You don’t have to earn rest. (I promise, your kids will survive while you take five minutes to breathe.)

Lie #2: “You should be enjoying every moment.”

Truth: Nope. Some moments are exhausting, boring, and thankless. That doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids. It just means you’re being honest. You’re allowed to say, “This part is hard.”

Lie #3: “Other moms are doing it better.”

Truth: Social media is a highlight reel, not the full story. Comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s polished snapshot is always going to be a losing game. And honestly? Most of them are struggling, too.

Lie #4: “If I were stronger, I wouldn’t feel this way.”

Truth: Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. Your strength isn’t measured by how little you struggle. It’s measured by how you keep showing up, even when it’s hard.

The Impact of Carrying Guilt Every Day

Here’s the thing about carrying guilt all the time—it wears you down. Mentally, physically, emotionally. And over time, it can actually start to fuel the very things you’re trying to avoid.

I’ve seen guilt lead to over-accommodating behaviors (especially in parents managing OCD or anxiety), where you do more and more to try and “make up” for some imaginary failure. But all that does is reinforce the belief that you have failed. It becomes a cycle. A painful, exhausting cycle that robs you of joy and connection.

And worst of all? It keeps you stuck. You’re constantly trying to earn a sense of worth you already have. You don’t need to prove anything to be enough.

(Seriously—let that one sink in.)

How to Release Mom Guilt in Real Time

Let’s talk about what to actually do when guilt shows up. Because it will. It’s sneaky like that. But you don’t have to believe everything it tells you.

Here are a few steps I use personally—and recommend professionally—to release mom guilt in the moment:

1. Name it out loud.

When you feel the weight of guilt creeping in, say it: “That’s mom guilt talking.” Calling it out helps you create space between the thought and your truth. It’s just a feeling—not a fact.

2. Ask: Is this coming from fear, or from my values?

This one’s big. Guilt thrives on fear. Fear of being a bad mom, messing up, missing something important. But when you take a step back and ask, “What do I value here?”, you shift the focus. Maybe your value is connection. And maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s modeling self-compassion. Let that guide your next step—not fear.

(If you want to go deeper into this, check out my “When It’s Scary Having Kids” masterclass. It’s made exactly for moments like this—when fear takes over and you feel stuck between what you want and what OCD or anxiety is shouting at you.)

3. Use a grounding mantra.

When guilt won’t let up, anchor yourself with a short phrase. Some of my favorites:

• “My worth isn’t up for debate.”
• “I’m allowed to be both a good mom and a tired one.”
• “Rest is resistance to perfectionism.”

You can find more like these in my affirmation cards. Keep them in your bag, car, or on your desk for a quick reset when guilt gets loud.

4. Let go of perfection—on purpose.

Try doing something imperfectly on purpose. Leave the dishes in the sink. Order takeout. Say no to volunteering. See what happens when you stop chasing “enough” and just… be. (Spoiler: the world won’t fall apart.)

Want a Step-By-Step Plan to Take Back Your Life From OCD and Anxiety?

If you’re tired of guessing your way through recovery, my OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint is for you. It’s a powerful self-paced course designed to help you rise up, break free, and build real momentum—especially if you’ve been stuck in guilt, fear, or intrusive thoughts.

Inside the Blueprint, I walk you through the exact strategies I use with clients to help them create lasting change. You’ll get video trainings, worksheets, tools, and a clear plan you can actually follow—even if you’re not in therapy right now.

”I can truly say The Blueprint has been life-changing for me.”
That’s what I hear all the time—and it’s what I want for you too.

Check out the OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint here and take the next step toward freedom.

You Deserve Peace—Not Guilt

Here’s the truth I want you to carry with you: You are doing enough. You’re allowed to care deeply about your kids and your own well-being. You don’t have to choose. You don’t have to prove. And you definitely don’t have to listen to the voice of mom guilt when it tries to tell you otherwise.

You’re not alone in this. I’ve worked with so many moms who feel the exact same way—and there’s a path forward that doesn’t involve beating yourself up every day. Whether you’re just trying to make it through bedtime without crying or navigating scary intrusive thoughts, there’s support for you.

Add the “When It’s Scary Having Kids” masterclass to your recovery toolkit if you’re stuck in fear about growing your family or wondering whether motherhood is even possible with OCD/anxiety.

And for a daily dose of encouragement, check out my podcast and affirmation cards, stickers, and car air fresheners—tools made by someone who gets it.

Guilt doesn’t get to run the show anymore. You do.

You’re worthy. You are already enough.
And you’re doing a way better job than you think.