If you’ve ever felt guilty about taking time for yourself, you’re not alone. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that prioritizing your needs is selfish—especially if you’re a parent, caregiver, or someone who always puts others first. But here’s the truth: self care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. And if you’re navigating anxiety or OCD, it’s not just helpful—it’s essential for your recovery.

Let’s explore what self care really means, why so many of us struggle with it, and how to start making it a part of your life without the guilt.

WHAT SELF CARE REALLY MEANS

Self care has become a buzzword, but it’s often misunderstood. It’s not just about bubble baths and spa days (though those can be great too!). True self care isn’t selfish—it’s about acknowledging that your needs matter and making them a priority. It’s intentionally taking actions that support your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

For those of us with anxiety or OCD, self care might look like:

• Setting boundaries with people who drain your energy.
• Saying no to commitments that overwhelm you (even if you feel guilty at first).
• Taking time to practice mindfulness or deep breathing, even if it’s just five minutes a day.

Think of self care as maintaining your inner battery. If you never stop to recharge, eventually, you’ll run out of energy completely—and that doesn’t help anyone, least of all you. Taking time to care for yourself isn’t indulgent; it’s the key to functioning well and showing up fully in your life.

When you view self care through this lens, it’s easier to let go of the guilt and see it for what it truly is: an essential part of being human.

THE IMPACT OF NEGLECTING SELF CARE ON ANXIETY AND OCD

When you ignore your needs, the consequences can sneak up on you. I’ve seen it time and time again with my clients (and honestly, in my own life too). When you’re running on empty, your brain and body are more vulnerable to stress—and that can make anxiety and OCD symptoms worse.

For example, neglecting self care often leads to:

• Burnout: When you’re physically and emotionally drained, it’s harder to manage intrusive thoughts or practice coping skills.
• Increased Stress: Stress compounds anxiety, making it harder to break free from spirals of worry or compulsions.
• Difficulty with Exposure Work: If you’re doing exposure and response prevention (ERP), skipping self care can leave you feeling less resilient and less willing to sit with discomfort.

Many people, especially those who constantly put others’ needs ahead of their own, find themselves overwhelmed and stretched thin. Anxiety can skyrocket, and it can feel like you’re failing at everything. But prioritizing small self care habits—like taking just 10 minutes to breathe and reset during the day—can make a world of difference. (Spoiler: It’s not selfish—it’s life-changing.)

WHY DO WE FEEL GUILTY ABOUT PRIORITIZING OURSELVES?

But let me back up a second. It’s no secret that many of us, especially parents and caregivers, feel guilty when we put our needs first. We’ve been conditioned to believe that self care is indulgent or selfish, especially if it means saying no to someone else.

But here’s the thing: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Sounds cliche, but it’s true. When you’re constantly running on fumes, it doesn’t just hurt you—it impacts the people you care about too.

I often remind my clients that self care isn’t selfish. Taking care of ourselves is actually one of the most selfless things we can do. (I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it’s true.) When you’re well-rested, grounded, and feeling good, you can show up as the best version of yourself for your loved ones.

IDENTIFYING BARRIERS TO SELF CARE

If you’re struggling to make self care a priority, you’re not alone. Some of the most common barriers I see include:

1. Feeling like you’re letting others down by focusing on yourself.
2. Believing you don’t have enough time for self care.
3. Thinking that self care has to look a certain way (e.g., a perfect morning routine).
4. Not knowing where to start or feeling like it’s “too late” to prioritize yourself.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, take a deep breath. You’re not failing; you’re just human. The good thing to remember is self care isn’t selfish and doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming to be effective.

PRACTICAL SELF CARE STRATEGIES FOR ANXIETY RECOVERY

If you’re ready to make self care a part of your life (without the guilt), here are a few strategies to help you get started:

1. Start Small: Self care doesn’t have to mean overhauling your entire schedule. Even 5-10 minutes of intentional “you time” can make a big difference. Example: Take a quick walk, write in a journal, or simply sit in silence with your favorite tea.
2. Set Boundaries: One of the most powerful forms of self care is learning to say no. It’s not selfish to protect your energy—it’s necessary.
3. Prioritize Rest: Sleep is a foundational part of self care, especially if you’re managing anxiety or OCD. Try creating a bedtime routine (even just 5-10 mins) that helps you wind down and relax.
4. Practice Self-Compassion: When guilt creeps in, remind yourself that self care isn’t selfish. You’re not taking away from others; you’re giving yourself what you need to be your best.
5. Schedule It: Treat self care like an appointment. Put it on your calendar and commit to it as you would any other responsibility.
6. Incorporate Joy: Self care doesn’t have to feel like a chore. Think about what makes you happy or energized and build it into your routine—whether it’s dancing to your favorite music, painting, or calling a friend.

SELF CARE ISN’T SELFISH, IT’S NECESSARY!

At the end of the day, self care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. It’s the foundation for managing anxiety, navigating OCD, and showing up as the best version of yourself.

If you’re struggling to prioritize self care, remember this: You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to rest. And you’re allowed to focus on your needs without apology.

Start small. Choose one thing today—whether it’s a five-minute break, a boundary you’ve been avoiding, or just reminding yourself that it’s okay to take care of you. With time, these small actions will add up to big changes.

And if you need a little extra support, I’ve got you covered.

READY TO PRIORITIZE YOURSELF?

If you’re ready to embrace self care and take charge of your anxiety recovery, I have resources to help you every step of the way. Start with my Break Free Action Cards, designed to make self care and affirmations simple and actionable.

Need more support? Tune into my podcast, All the Hard Things, where I dive into real, practical strategies for managing OCD, anxiety, and everything in between. You can also explore my course, the OCD and Anxiety Recovery Blueprint, to go deeper into recovery strategies tailored for you. 

And don’t forget to connect with me on Instagram—I share daily tips, encouragement, and behind-the-scenes insights to keep you motivated. Remember, self care isn’t selfish. It’s the best way to build the life you deserve, one small step at a time.