As parents, it’s natural to worry about what’s “normal” behavior and what might be a cause for concern (especially when it comes to our children’s mental health!). Children develop in unique ways, and sometimes their behaviors can seem puzzling. But when those behaviors become repetitive, intense, or disruptive, it’s understandable if you start to wonder if there’s something more going on. 

In my years as a licensed professional counselor specializing in OCD and anxiety, I’ve spoken to many parents who notice early signs of OCD in their children and feel unsure about what to do next. OCD is one of the most treatable conditions in the mental health space today, which is WHY I’m so passionate about this.

So let’s take a closer look at OCD in kids, the difference between typical developmental behaviors and true OCD symptoms, and what parents can do if they suspect their child may have OCD.

UNDERSTANDING CHILDHOOD OCD

OCD doesn’t just affect adults—it shows up in kids too, although it can look a bit different. At its core, OCD has two main parts: obsessions, which are those intrusive thoughts, fears, or images that cause distress, and compulsions, the actions or mental routines kids use to try to calm that distress.

The tricky part? While adults may recognize these thoughts and behaviors as part of OCD, kids usually don’t always understand why they feel or act the way they do. They just know their brain is telling them something isn’t “safe” or “right,” and they feel like they have to fix it.

Sometimes, it helps to explain OCD to kids as “a worry that won’t go away,” one that feels so big they try to shrink it by doing certain things—like repeating actions, counting, or asking the same questions over and over. And as a parent, it’s heartbreaking to watch them feel that kind of fear, especially when these behaviors take up so much of their time and energy.

I realize that OCD can feel very confusing (especially to those who haven’t experienced it themselves!). So for a more in-depth look, feel free to check out my recent blog here.

SIGNS OF OCD IN CHILDREN

Just like adults, it’s key to recognize OCD symptoms in kids so you can tell the difference between typical childhood quirks and potential early signs of OCD. Every child is unique, and their symptoms can show up in different ways, but here are a few common red flags to watch for:

• Repetitive behaviors like washing their hands excessively, checking locks or windows multiple times, or needing to touch things a specific number of times.
• Constant reassurance-seeking, such as asking the same questions over and over to make sure everything is “okay” or “safe.”
• Perfectionism anxiety, where they feel an overwhelming need to do things “just right,” sometimes avoiding tasks altogether or taking much longer to complete them.
• Intrusive, unwanted thoughts that might be scary or confusing—especially because kids often don’t have the words to explain what’s going on in their minds.

If you’re noticing some of these signs of OCD in kids, it doesn’t automatically mean your child has OCD. But if the symptoms are persistent and interfere with daily life it may be worth looking into further.

For parents who want structured support, parent-coached exposure therapy can be an effective approach for children with OCD or anxiety. I recently covered this in an episode of my podcast, which you can listen to here.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN OCD AND TYPICAL DEVELOPMENTAL BEHAVIOR

One of the trickiest parts of identifying OCD symptoms in kids is distinguishing them from normal developmental behaviors. Children can be quirky, and it’s not unusual for kids to develop temporary habits or rituals (like bedtime routines or favorite routines they don’t want to break).

Here’s the key difference: In typical childhood development, kids might go through phases where they have certain routines or behaviors, but they’re usually adaptable if those routines are disrupted. For instance, they might enjoy lining up their toys in a specific way, but if you step in and move a few, they’ll eventually let it go and move on.

With OCD, it’s a whole different story. There’s an intense sense of anxiety or fear if their routines aren’t followed exactly. A child with OCD might feel like something terrible will happen if they don’t complete their rituals, or they might be overwhelmed by an unbearable sense of discomfort if things aren’t “just right.” It’s this deep emotional distress that really sets OCD apart from typical developmental quirks.

If you’re feeling unsure about how to support a child showing early signs of OCD in kids, check out my blog here. It’s a helpful resource to understand the do’s and don’ts of supporting someone struggling with OCD.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO IF THEY SUSPECT OCD 

If you’re spotting early signs of OCD in your child, don’t worry—you’re not powerless. There are meaningful steps you can take to support them and help them navigate what they’re experiencing. Here’s what I recommend to parents:

1. Observe and record behaviors: Take note of what you’re seeing, how often it happens, and any patterns. This can be helpful if you choose to seek a professional opinion.
2. Avoid reinforcing compulsive behaviors: If your child keeps asking for reassurance, it’s natural to want to comfort them by giving the answers they’re looking for. But here’s the tricky part: constantly providing reassurance can actually strengthen the OCD cycle, making those behaviors harder to break in the long run. It’s like feeding the worry instead of helping to shrink it.
3. Learn about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP): Taking action early can make a huge difference. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is a proven strategy that gradually helps kids confront their fears and build resilience. You can even start incorporating some ERP strategies at home by gently encouraging your child to face small fears without immediately offering reassurance. For example, instead of answering their repeated questions right away, help them sit with the discomfort for a bit. Over time, this can reduce anxiety and build their confidence in handling tough situations without relying on compulsions. It’s a step-by-step process, but the results can be life-changing!

SUPPORTING A CHILD WITH OCD

Supporting a child with OCD takes patience, understanding, and some practical tools to keep you both moving forward. Here are a few important tips:

• Set clear boundaries on accommodating behaviors: While it’s natural to want to ease your child’s fears, constantly accommodating their OCD-driven needs can actually reinforce the OCD over time. Learning how to gently limit this type of support can help your child grow stronger and more resilient. I have a masterclass on this very topic! You can check it out here.
• Practice self-compassion and patience: Supporting a child with OCD can feel challenging and overwhelming at times, but it’s so important to be kind to yourself throughout the process. Children can sense frustration, so taking time to care for yourself as a parent will ultimately benefit your child.
• Stay informed: The more you understand OCD symptoms in kids, the better equipped you’ll be to provide support to your child. Listen to podcasts (I have a great one!), read articles, or even consider joining a support group for parents in similar situations. Building your knowledge helps you feel less alone and more empowered.

Remember, each small step you take can make a powerful difference in your child’s life (and in yours, too!).

MOVING FORWARD WITH CONFIDENCE

Seeing signs of OCD in your child can be difficult (and disheartening), but you don’t have to go through it alone. Parenting a child with OCD can be hard, but with the right approach and resources, you can help them build a healthy, balanced life. OCD is treatable.. Taking small steps now can have a huge impact on how your child manages their OCD both now and in the future.

For more support, tune into my podcast, where I cover topics related to OCD, anxiety, and parenting tips for those supporting a child with OCD. And don’t forget to sign up for my masterclass, for practical strategies on supporting your child without reinforcing their OCD behaviors.